From (St.) Nikolai Velimirovic's Missionary Letters, letter 162
As one returning home from a great distance, so you feel now returning from the cold lands of unbelief to the warm hearth of the faith of your ancestors. The difficulties which you meet along the way are not unknown to the Church. The Church has enough experience to know what happens to people who depart from the faith and also what happens when they return. In the former case, demons drive them forward, and in the latter, they pull them back, using all possible tricks. So it is with you. They cast despair upon you, then they sweeten the path of backsliding- the path you were on until now and which leads to perdition.
Then they convince your former companions to mock you. Then they remind you of the famous unbelievers who were "glorious among men" even as such. You must wage warfare with invisible enemies. And you will surely defeat them, but only if you do not lose from sight the image of Jesus Christ, the greatest Benefactor of the world. He is the only perfectly normal man who has lived on earth in the entire course of human history. Walk towards Him, pray to Him, behold Him. Behold Him, how He is born in the cave for your sake. Behold Him, how He struggles and humbles Himself for your sake. Behold Him, how He heals bodily ill-nesses, symbols of your spiritual illnesses. Behold Him crucified on the cross - for your sake. Behold Him, how He now watches over you from His heavenly glory - He, the resurrected and ascended One. Meet His gaze everywhere. A purifying shame will overcome your soul, a shame that until now you have been far from Him and against Him. And then shout to the demon who is lying to you and distracting you - what have you done for me?
You say how you read the Holy Scripture with joy and how other books have become boring and disgusting to you. You cannot even pick them up. This is how it usually is with the spiritually hungry. They cannot easily have their fill of the word of God after the sick gorging on the words of men. But you say that prayer is just not coming along yet. It will, have no doubt. When love for the One who loves you flares up in your heart, you will yearn to find every possible way of communicating with Him. And you will grab a hold of the prayer as well. For now, just try one short prayer. For example "Holy God", "All Holy Trinity", "Our Father" or "Virgin Theotokos". Repeat this prayer five times a day.
Set this as your rule and whether you like it or not, do not abandon that rule. Reading the Holy Scripture gives light. Prayer adds warmth. Add almsgiving to all this, no matter what the amount of it is and for whom it is. Almsgiving works as some spiritual moisture which along with the light of the Scripture and the warmth of prayer causes the soul to grow, expand, deepen and heighten, and to bring forth good fruit. Thus, your soul will return into a healthy, normal state and it will be like a good tree. And as the Unerring One said, "Every good tree brings forth good fruit."
Peace and joy from Christ to you.
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